This Ghost Is Out Of The Closet, But Not In His Arms
by Alya Queen Of Light
Summary: Dr. Dean Winchester a successful doctor who owns his own practice. Tragedy hits and he loses his love, Castiel, to a hit-and-run. Dean doesn't return to the practice for weeks. When he does, strange things happen. Can Dean deal? How does Cas himself deal? Ghost!Castiel CasPOV. AU. Destiel. Some Lisa/Dean. Will have a sad ending. Major character death. Dedicated to Jo (castielsbee)
1. Chapter 1

**Hey Guys! This is my first Fanfic so please go easy :P hope you enjoy it! let me know if they're out of character or I've made mistakes or anything! thanks. xx**

* * *

_"Cas-" _

_Dean stopped. He was centimeters away from him. _

_"Cas… would you be- will you go-" _

_"Forever" Castiel said. He didn't need to know what Dean was going to say. Dean leaned forward pressing his lips to Castiel's gently. He pulled back. _

_"Finally accepted your sexuality ay Winchester!" Ash said from across the hall. The entire corridor was watching; most with wide grins or soft lazy smiles, some turned away in shame or embarrassment, few in disgust. _

_Castiel, the shorter of the two boys, although Dean would resent the term; they were 17 turning 18 they were no longer boys, looked away in mortification. Jo interrupted Cas' embarrassment by running over and glomping him, and then Dean in turn. _

_Dean hugged Jo tightly as she babbled about how adorable they were. Over her shoulder he made eye contact with _his_ flustered and gorgeous grinning boyfriend and couldn't help but return the face splitting smile.  
_

* * *

_"Cas-" _

_Dean choked, crumpling on the ground with his clean white coat. _

_"For..ev.."_

_"CAS" Deans said, his voice sounded as if it was wrenched out._

_Hands balled Castiel's tee-shirt. Dean leaned in, fingers pinching his boyfriend's nose, pressing their lips together Dean let a half sob half breath out before pulling back. His hands moving to his chest before, pressing steady pumps into the body. "Cas you-" Dean's voice faltered "you- god, Cas" He choked again "you can't leave me." Dean stopped again, arms acting of their own accord; shaking Castiel's body. He leant in again to continue CPR, he was a doctor, and this should be easy. _

_Choked sobs that left his mouth mixed with the sound of grinding bones, every time Dean pumped his hands on Castiel's chest. _

_ "Cas- please- don't you" he choked "Cas pleas-" his voice broke off. "Cas you son-of-a-bitch don't leave me." Dean bent over pressing forehead to Castiel's. His blurry eyes focusing on the lifeless eyes of the man he loves. Tears bled down his face, but went ignored. "I- I- Cas, I can't do-"he swallowed "I can't do this… Not without you" He said, his voice was barely audible. "Cas, I love you." He buried his face in Castiel's bloody shirt, sobbing. _

_"Dean, Dean- it's been over an hour, please-" there was an intake of breath and a choked swallow "please let me call it." Dean looked up to a distressed Meg._

_Dean shook his head, but Meg bent down taking Castiel's wrist in between her two fingers and thumb "Time of death-"another choked sound "6:20 July 5th 2013" Meg finished. Before placing her face in her hands._

_Dean sat there with the slowly cooling body of the love of his life. Broken tears filled and dropped from his eyes. Dean clawed at his face, trying to remove the tears, remove reality. _

_He pulled Castiel on to his lap and ran his hand though the soft but dark hair. "I love you Castiel, now and always; forever, baby, forever."_

* * *

Castiel stepped out of the way of another person.

They had been the seventh one today. Castiel's face contorted into a confused if not angry glare. His eye brows drawing together above his eyes. Cas had begun wondering if they were all playing a practical joke on him, organized by Dean. Everyone had been ignoring him and not replying to him. Cas had spoken to Jo the receptionist asking what the date was; he went ignored.

So he walked around the counter to take a look himself. It was September 12th 2013. The only thing Jo had said was "It's freaking cold in here; the heating must have stuffed up." But that didn't really seem to be a reply to him.

Castiel looked up as the door opened. It was Dean. Castiel's face bore a smile that he reserves only for Dean as he stepped forward. He felt as if they hadn't seen each other in days, weeks even. The tugging in Castiel's stomach did not go unnoticed. It was pulling him to Dean; he needed to hug him, squeeze him, and feel him. He needed to hold Dean.

Castiel had never really been one for public displays of affection, or PDA's as Sam had once called it joking about the two kissing, but this time he needed to be with Dean.

Using long strides he walked as fast over to Dean. "Hello Dean..." He said, smile wide. "You sure got me goo-"He began to say shaking his head, his arm stretched out ready for a hug.

Where Cas' arms should have wrapped around Dean in quite a rough hug; due to the pace Cas had been walking at, Castiel fell straight through Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey M8s! Look chapter 2 already! I'm on a roll :P Just letting you know that at the beginning of every chapter I will have a section in italics, that is part of their life before the accident, if you haven't figured it out. Its just so you can see what their life was like :) Thank you so much for reading! Reviews would be lovely but 'ya know you don't have to if you don't want to! :D 3**

**ALSO! This story is dedicated to Jo, or Castielsbee, as she is on here. She's great and without here I wouldn't have even started writing! This is for you Jo! Thank you for inspiring me! 3**

**Anyway! on to the story!**

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_Castiel's face was contorted and harsh, his mouth sitting unhappily. His hair, without aid of a shower to contain it, stuck out in all the wrong places. Eyes were squinted against dawn light. The pounding of the door continued as he placed his hand on the door handle to jerk it open. _

_On the other side of the just opened door stood Dean Winchester with a sparking grin and flowers to match. Dean's smile quickly fell into one of embarrassment and apology. Dean shifted and looked down towards Cas' bare feet. _

_Castiel's face adjusted into a small smile. "Uh, Hey Cas, um, sorry it's five fort-"Dean said, as Cas interrupted. "Hello Dean." Cas sounded amused. At this Dean looked up to see his boyfriend, of 1 week, smiling at him. _

_Dean beamed as he handed Castiel the flowers. "I, um, it's been one week and er, just came to give you these. And to ya know; make sure you still wanna be, uh, together..?" Dean said. His face was tinged pink, he hated chick flick moments, but with Cas this just felt right. _

_Castiel's smile could rival that of angels as he replied to Dean. "Forever, Dean, forever."_

_Cas leaned in softly to kiss Dean, but was yanked roughly in by Dean himself._

* * *

Castiel spun around in shock. He had just fallen _through _Dean. He stared wide eyed at Dean, who looked as terrified as Cas felt.

Cas watched as Dean shivered before withdrawing into himself. "Don't think I can be here Sammy…" Dean said. Dean turn to go. Castiel couldn't take his eyes of Dean. Sam though wouldn't have any of it.

"Dean come on, you have to come back some time, you're already here, you're fine" Sam placed a reassuring hand on Deans shoulder before steering them towards Dean's office.

Cas watched them go in utter shock. He couldn't comprehend a single thing that had just happened. Maybe he was dreaming? He hoped to God that was the explanation.

Cas seemed to be able to move again when Dean and Sam almost reach the office. Shoes pounded against the carpet, albeit making no sound, as he ran towards the two. He needed to know what was happening.

"DEAN" Cas said trying to get their attention. Neither of the two turned nor even acknowledged him. He was going fast, very fast, he had sprinted across the room to reach them. He'd hoped they'd have noticed him and waited but they didn't. Cas reached the door just as Sam shut it in his face.

The door was heavy, created thick to be sound proof. To hide the sickly and broken. Keep the grotesque cases hidden from peeking eyes. Large gashes slashed deep into the wood of the door. Dust clung and latched on to the shell.

Cas braced for the impact which never came. Cas had stumbled straight though the closed door. His face bore nothing but shock while looking around the room.

Both Sam and Dean shivered "When did it get so God-damn cold?" Dean said. Dean looked pale and as if he would throw up at any moment. "Dean? Sam?" Cas tried again, but neither answered.

Cas stared in shock at the two brothers. "Dean, you've gotta do this, Cas is gone, and it hurts, of course it hurts, but you've gotta start living your life man. You need to work and be here." Sam said.

Cas tilted his head, he was gone…? What had happened? He remembered nothing about yesterday or the day before or even a week ago. It was all gone.

"We're gonna put up a plaque for him, in the lobby. Maybe I'll change the name for him. Dammit Sammy I miss that son-of-a-bitch so much." Dean said to Sam. "We know Dean, we miss him too" Sam place a hand on his brother's shoulder.

At this Cas frowned "You assbutts, I'm here!" He reached out to grab Dean's hand which was lying on the desk.

His hand went straight through Dean's and then though the desk.

Cas pulled back just as Dean did.

His chair rolled back and slammed against the wall. "I- just- can't do this now" Dean rubbed his hands into his face, trying to remove something that just wasn't physical.

Castiel stared at them. He couldn't believe this was happening. Cas didn't understand it. His mouth was parted slightly in utter shock.

Dean stood; face drained of colour, eyes wide. Hands clung to the back of his head. His eyes held consuming tears, mouth and features deformed with pain and distress. Florescent lights glared down forming large shadows along his grim face.

"I gotta go Sam, I can't be here" Dean said. He looked at Sam, and he nodded in understanding. "Don't know what I would do if I lost Jess." Sam glanced down, then back to his brother. "Dean, I'm so sor-" "- Save it Sam" Dean said walking around the desk past him.

There was silence from Sam and Castiel. Dean opened the door, Cas followed. He wanted to touch him, but every time it just ended with Dean reacting worse.

They walked out ,Castiel following close behind, Dean and Sam. Jo walked up to the two brothers, and pulled Dean into a hug.

"Jo?" Castiel tried. She once again didn't respond.

Cas stood as they hugged. Jo let go. "Go home Dean" She said holding his hand in hers. "Get some rest and try again tomorrow. We'll put up that plaque for you" Jo let his hand go.

"No, I want to be here for that" Dean said, he looked determined.

"Okay, we'll do it tomorrow" She said before patting his shoulder.

Cas looked on in horror. He couldn't handle Dean like this. Did he think he was dead? He was right there.

While Cas was frowning, Sam and Dean had started to leave. Castiel sped up to follow them, slipping thought the door just before it shut. Sam pulled the keys out of his pocket; they were The Impala's keys. Dean never let Sam drive. Cas thought that very odd.

Cas followed the two along to the edge of the car park. When Castiel tried to take another step; he couldn't. It was like he was chained around his midsection, to the complex. He couldn't see it but he couldn't take another step because he was pulled straight back.

"SAM! DEAN!" He watched as they opened the doors to the car and got in, completely oblivious to him. "DEAN, PLEASE! DEAN! SAM? ….DEAN!?" The Impala revved as Sam pulled out of the car park leaving a sobbing wreck of a man behind.


End file.
